Every person and every therapeutic pairing is unique. There is no rule about how long any therapy should take. Each person comes to therapy with her or his own combination of resources and problems, issues with trust, and means of processing new experiences. All of this affects the length of the therapy — whether it lasts 3 months, 3 years, or 3 decades. However, it is important that both therapist and client keep asking themselves (and sometimes, each other) whether the therapy is effective. If it doesn’t seem to be, they should talk about what isn’t working. If they can’t resolve whatever is causing the therapy to be stuck, they might consider transferring the client to a new therapist.
Remember: Change doesn't have to take years.
People often fear that being hypnotized will make them lose control, surrender their will, and result in their being dominated, but a hypnotic state is not the same thing as gullibility or weakness. The main thing to remember is that hypnosis is a collaborative process. In order for it to work, it relies on you joining in with it, rather than allowing it to be done to you. While hypnotized you are not only fully aware, but also in full control. It is impossible to be made to do anything that you don’t want to do while in a hypnotic state, and you can come out of hypnosis at any time you like. Hypnosis is a fundamental and perfectly natural human experience, and a powerfully effective way for us to gain more control over our lives.
When you think about it, not coming to therapy is often scarier and more painful. For many people, therapy is a relief — a place where they can express themselves fully without fear of judgment, criticism, or punishment. At the same time, it can be intimidating to face oneself as a complex person with unflattering traits and qualities as well as flattering ones. The therapeutic process can feel like wandering into the unknown, which is daunting for most people, even if it may ultimately lead somewhere more desirable.
Quite the contrary! Anyone can be hypnotized, but it does require an ability to focus, concentrate and follow direction, which means that it’s often the case that the more intelligent you are, the more likely you are to be successful with hypnosis. The most difficult hypnotic subjects to work with are those that are under the influence of drugs or alcohol – precisely because they often can’t focus enough to engage in the process.
Most people experience periods when they feel confused, stressed, overwhelmed, out of control, depressed, insecure, anxious, or angry. Not only are these feelings normal, it would be odd not to experience them at times. Equally common (and often the cause or the result of these feelings) are difficulties with relationships, from arguing and fighting to feeling stuck or dissatisfied.
Frequently, these feelings emerge when making decisions, enduring losses, or navigating transitions. Even positive and exciting changes can trigger unexpected emotions. Sometimes recognizing what we are experiencing is not easy or obvious, and simply acknowledging our feelings can provide some relief.
Though not a sign of insanity, unmanaged emotions can be serious, affecting our work, our life outside of work, and our relationships. Furthermore, through intensity or duration, emotions can manifest as physical symptoms, including headaches, stomach aches, muscle tension, high blood pressure, problems with sleeping and eating, fatigue, irritability, and tearfulness. Part of the therapeutic work is to help individuals develop the ability to tolerate their feelings without getting overwhelmed. When we are able to experience the range of our emotions, life becomes much more vibrant and meaningful.
It’s not a matter of whether you can be hypnotized, but whether you’ll allow yourself to be helped to enter hypnosis. Most people go into hypnosis easily once they understand that you remain conscious and do not surrender your will during hypnotherapy. Fear of loss of control, which is just a myth, is the main reason some people won't allow themselves to be hypnotized, but if a person is comfortable with the process and with the hypnotist and knows what to expect, it's surprisingly easy. Everyone has the ability to be hypnotized, because it’s a natural, normal state that each of us enters at least twice each day – upon waking and falling asleep. We enter a state similar to hypnosis when daydreaming, meditating, driving on the road and arriving at our destination “automatically”, or being so deeply engrossed in a project or conversation that time seems to fly. A hypnotherapist helps you to enter this receptive state purposefully, and then uses the state to impress suggestions and imagery upon your mind. People seem to be able to achieve different degrees of hypnotic depth, but everyone can be hypnotized to a sufficient level to accomplish most therapeutic goals. Repetitive hypnosis can increase the depth of hypnosis, but doesn’t necessarily make you more suggestible.
Some people do become dependent on their therapists for a while. When this happens, it is usually because the client has an issue, consciously or unconsciously, that requires a period of dependency to resolve. However, therapy is not about fostering dependency, but about helping people learn to take full responsibility for their lives. Even when a client is experiencing feelings of dependency on the therapist, the goal is the client’s autonomy.
Hypnosis can be very effective for capturing lost memories, but you can also lie when under hypnosis, or even have false memories. Hypnosis isn't a truth serum.
The way to get over a difficult past is to face it fully, in all its emotional, physical, cognitive, and spiritual reality. But bad events can be overwhelming, and we often do whatever we can to survive. Our brains don’t fully process overwhelming events as they are happening, so as a result, the bad stuff continues to feel overwhelming and we continue to employ our defenses in order to avoid feeling overwhelmed. As time passes, our defenses may get stronger and stronger, but this strengthening comes at the expense of genuine and authentic connection to ourselves and others.
This is probably the most common misconception about hypnosis. You never lose your full sense of awareness or fall asleep in hypnosis. On the contrary, you are actually more fully awake. All levels of hypnosis are characterized by increased attention, and it’s this heightened concentration that increases your receptivity to suggestion. A large range of sensations can take place during hypnosis, and everyone can have different experiences. It’s most likely you will enjoy a feeling of deep calmness and relaxation.
It is difficult to assign a dollar amount to the value of feeling peaceful, confident, happy, and effective in one’s life, or to attach a price to becoming available for, and maintaining, a satisfying relationship. Similarly, it’s hard to know the worth of realizing one’s potential. One myth that keeps people stuck is that these things should come freely and naturally.
Therapy is often expensive. Some people have insurance policies that make it more affordable, while others have flex pay or health savings accounts that help cover the cost. For some people, it is a question of budgeting and prioritizing. Sometimes, those who are ambivalent about entering therapy or prioritizing their own well-being use the cost of therapy as an excuse for not seeking help, but in truth, the long term cost of not getting the help one needs can be much higher.
You’ll be aware of everything while hypnotized and afterward, unless specific amnesia is suggested for a therapeutic purpose. It’s possible that you’ll have a "dreamy" feeling, or feel as if you are drifting back and forth between sleep and wakefulness throughout hypnosis. It's normal for your mind to wander at times.
People should be able to deal with things on their own.
Nothing is farther from the truth! We all need others to lean on at times, and we all desire to be seen and known deeply by another. We may also require a different perspective in order to see ourselves and our situation clearly. While turning to a friend for advice may work in some instances, there are times when all of us could use an unbiased, professional opinion. It takes great courage to admit to yourself that you need help. It takes even more courage to ask another for help. Rather than a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength when someone wishes to improve his or her life, and has the courage to seek assistance in this process.
Being stuck in a trance is as likely as being stuck in a daydream. It’s simply impossible due to the fact that a trance is a state between states, so eventually you will either fall asleep or simply wake up. Both options are usually quite refreshing.
The more accurate statement is that people, like everything else, are changing constantly. This change often occurs in spite of our best efforts to hold on to and maintain what is familiar – even if it's misery. Change is relentless and inevitable. It both creates and undoes us. What causes our distress is a more or less rigid attachment to the way things were a decade, a year, a month, or a moment ago. It is vital that we adapt to our bodies as they grow (stronger or weaker, faster or slower), as well as to the changes in those we love, the changes in our work life, and the changes in the world around us. Psychotherapy can help us accept our losses more gracefully, evaluate our possibilities more fully, and participate more proactively in the process of our own lives.